Updated: Jun 9, 2022
You need friends that are truly happy in their own lives so they can be authentically happy for you. Ever since I realized that, the quality of my friend circle has improved and therefore the energy around me feels more peaceful. Dare I ask, do you have happy friends or jealous frenemies? You can still love “frenemies” from a distance so long as you are wise enough to know what it is. The reason I say that is because often it’s the childhood or long time friends, as well as your family that have earned your love or that feel the most entitled to experience your love…. but nobody is entitled to your TIME 😉.
If they mistreat you and they can't own up to it and they're not interested in repairing the damage to make things right again, that's a concern for me. If they're using you, seeming to only show up when they need something or to ride your coattails and partake in the valuable life experiences you have access to that's a concern. If they just can't be happy for your life achievements, you see signs of jealously or if they never seem to have time for you, that's not cool either. Do you find that you are always supporting them and their endeavors but you get nothing in return? See? Those are all clues of a shady and inconsiderate, selfish friend or family member and you need to put them in their place. Remove them from 1st place and put them in the back of the line. Take away their friend privileges or BFF card for awhile or for as long as it takes to dish out your tough love until they learn to appreciate you. Reserve your time and good energy for those that consistently show you love and loyalty in return regardless if they're blood or water. So what your friend circle is smaller afterwards. Even if you have just one reliable friend or family member in your life, you're doing great because most people have lots of fake friends and no true and genuine friends. I have thousands of public friends, hundreds of close family & friends but I can think of just a handful of people right now that are my first priority and my ride or die, with my number one being my amazing husband Rodney. I care about the rest of um but I'd probably need to pay them to show me the love I deserve. That's conditional love and I don't need, want or deserve that. I'm good with my lil small circle tho. Better than most.
Sometimes you need to reset you friend circle. The shady friends and fam can have a seat on the bench while the real friends play and help you score! Evaluate your friend circle today. Try speaking to them about some of your concerns first (don't be petty tho lol) to see if they have a good explanation for their behavior but if the same mess keeps repeating itself, they shouldn't keep getting more chances to bring negativity into your life. By accepting such behavior you become an enabler. Make time for your true ride or die friends and fam. Love the rest of um from a distance and maybe...just maybe someday, God willing in this lifetime, they'll come to understand how foolish they've been and realize the value you added to their lives. Sometimes you gotta teach people how to love and appreciate you. You also must be willing to accept some of their imperfections because you have some too and somebody loves you regardless, right? These things take time. While you wait for them to finally catch up or grow up if that's the case, go live your BEST life. The best you can do in times like that is pray for your friends and loved ones. Now go let that marinate. -sb
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